Racism within the British schooling system.
As a Black, Muslim girl, I unknowingly had to adapt to the harsh realities that come along with my identities from a very young age. Upon starting my first year of secondary school, i found myself pleasantly surprised at the diversity before me, everywhere i’d look i’d see minorities, despite only being 11 at the time, I felt a sense of ease and comfort knowing i’d have no reason to be singled out, or subjected to racism that I had previously been exposed to.
The relief I had was short lived, and I quickly realised that racism wasn’t as simple as a man yelling the N-word at me across the street, or having alcoholic beverages thrown at me from afar, and I became aware of the covert racism that Britain’s schooling system thrived off. My secondary experience was oversaturated with discrete acts of racism, all of which I felt reluctant to express to other (non black) people. My friendship group at the time was extremely white, with little to no conversation about racist institutions, the topic of feminism was the ceiling for most of my friends at the time, regardless, their very white feminist perspective could never consider my own struggles as a Black, Muslim female.
Within the first week of school, without any demonstration of my academic ability, I found myself bottom set in maths. I was dazed at the time, considering maths was my strong point. Yet here I was, within a few days at secondary school, forced to skip geography for extra maths lessons, practicing the 8 times tables that we had all mastered in year 3. I vividly remember looking around the room, a surplus of black people with a few other minorities, and of course, not a single white student in sight. I was told it was to help “ease” me into secondary school level work. My 11 year old self wasn’t quite sure about the school's ulterior motive, but i definitely knew it wasn’t in my favour. I wanted to rebuke the teachers' words, I felt embarrassed and degraded to be practicing basic maths on “manga high”, and having to explain my absence from geography to my peers, but my family insisted I comply with the teachers and to keep my head down.
I felt as if the school environment intentionally made the school experience of black people hostile, a setting so problematic and tough for individuals like myself to succeed in. A group of black boys bunched in a group at break time was treated as something worth breaking up, the presumption that because a group of black boys are together, a fight breaking out is inevitable, which frequently resulted in an isolation room full of black boys, where they’d meet with 2 of the only black teachers within the school, who obviously worked in behaviour management ( coincidence? me thinks not lol). I found myself in isolation for nonsensical reasons, throwing water on a girl who threw it on me first earned me 2 days suspension, it’s funny because that very same day, a white boy walked into school high off his head with drugs in his bag, receiving a mere 2 day suspension. In what world are those two actions comparable? To me, it was very apparent that the decision was purely based off the fact that I was a Black Muslim and that boy was not.
I would be typing for a prolonged period of time if I listed out my experiences, some of which I still struggle to express without appearing “crazy”, but a stand out, easy to grasp example I can give is my oldest sister telling me about how in year 10, she selected triple science, she was passionate about the subject, and received the grades necessary. Apparently her efforts in achieving the highest mark in the subject wasn’t satisfactory, because the deputy head personally approached her and told her it’s “not suitable” for her, and that it would be wise to give “someone more likely to make it” a chance. Those exact words. The same experience followed at sixth form, repeatedly being told to drop out. The damage this does to one's self esteem is immense and myself, my siblings and many other BAME people continue to face the repercussions of the corrupt schooling system and it’s long lasting effects.
Whilst writing this, I realise that racism within the schooling system wasn’t discrete at all, very much obvious. However, it doesn’t affect white people, it apparently wasn’t their problem to deal with, therefore it was never addressed by white people, especially within a school run by white teachers. I was often treated as if my complaints were just me being theatrical, the microaggressions weren’t real, and that teachers only want the best for me, how dare I question the intent behind teachers actions?! Now, at the age of 18, although I would’ve liked for my younger self to have the bravery and knowledge that I have today to be able to confront my school, I acknowledge how that would’ve only worked against me. I wish more white people would call out the racist institution that benefits them, and I can only hope that the Black Lives Matter movement will be the final push for systemic change to occur within every institution, including schools.
Filsan Awil